Life, Love, Food & Me.

I've moved!

2011-07-21T00:59:00.004+01:00

you can now find me at www.mrsflams.wordpress.com

Wanna Tap This?

2011-07-20T21:32:00.000+01:00

There are days that drag on and days that fly by and then there are shitty days and good days and days in between the two.

I'm not quite sure where today slots in to that first sentence of mine.

It started with sleeping in (which to me is the start of a good day, if I'm being honest here), it was followed by baiting an ignoramus arseholium on twitter, which really I shouldn't have, but sometimes it's too much fun.

Then I had to go to work. But I got a free coffee, so I'm thinking so far so good. Even better? I got to have cake.

My shift was a non-busy shift (which surprised me somewhat) and despite it being really quiet and not eventful, it went by really quickly.

Then it got interesting.

Ever had a random stranger declare their love for you? No?
What about ask you to leave your husband and divorce him for them? No?

That happened to me. Today. It was bizarre.

He was just a regular guy. He came up to and asked me for directions and I gave them. Then? He told me I was beautiful.
Personally? I wouldn't say I'm beautiful. I clean up well and I'm not a hideous bag, but I'm not beautiful.
So he carries on with his flattery, declares his love and asks me to divorce my sband. I reply that I don't think my husband would the too kindly to that and then this guys tells me he's a millionaire. (as if) he then asks me if he can have a hug and gives me one and 2 kisse on the cheek. Tells me I'm beautiful again and kisses my hand.

As he leaves he tells me that he'd "like to tap that", an this guys not exactly a spring chicken. I'm thinking he watches too much MYV... I mean, who says THAT anymore?

Then he leaves and I think "phew thank god that is over"

Except? He comes back and shouts across the concourse "yoohoo sexy!" and waves and blows me a kiss.

If I knew any better I'd say he liked me....

On my way home and I'm so glad I have the next 7 days off.

I guess I can't ever say my job is boring and mundane. Not with stuff like that happening.

Easy Come, Easy Go

2011-06-23T16:08:00.000+01:00

It's payday tomorrow. That means it's also bill day tomorrow. *insert varying degrees of excitement here*

I just set up to pay out my bills tomorrow, and it came to a grand total of £1275, which is pretty much my entire monthly salary.

I'm not the least bit surprised. Living is expensive. ugh.

As the saying goes, Easy Come, Easy Go.

Ain't life peachy?

Inkling

2011-06-22T23:31:00.000+01:00

When I was 15 I wanted a Tattoo as soon as I could legally have one.
When I was 18 I still wanted a Tattoo but was cautious because I wasn't 150% sure of exactly what I wanted or where I wanted it (Or how many I wanted!)

Tattoos are for life. The last thing you want is that image of Tweety Bird inked on to your arse at 21 to turn into Big Bird by the time you've hit 50 because your arse has expanded due to the fact that over the last 29 years you've gained 45 pounds and then some. Needless to say it's taken a while for me to really come to a decision, and despite the 10 years of thought processing I'm still not at that 150%. But I'm close.

Over the last few months I've had a pretty harsh time, full of stress and upset. I have white pills to pop. They're helping, slowly. Instead of feeling low all the time, I feel less low, but sometimes more agressive. It probably doesn't help that I'm reading a book series that has quite a lot of supernatural violence in it. hey ho. my books are my escapism.

Over the last 2 months my urge to be inked has hit me real strong. So strong that I can almost taste it. I can almost feel the pain of the Tattooist running the needles through my skin, inking me, marking me. I want it so bad. I want to feel the pain.

I'm in the process of doing my research. I have picked a studio and an artist. I have an idea of what I want and where I want them, all I have to do now is call the studio, make an appointment and speak to my Tattooist. I plan to let her design it based on my idea.

I have an inkling that pretty soon I'm going to feel the pain as the needle bites into my flesh, forever marking me.

I can't fucking wait.

a Sponsor Request

2011-06-18T14:12:00.000+01:00

I'm kindly asking you guys to sponsor my husband, who will, tomorrow, be riding the London to Brighton bike route as part of Team AlanMasters.net

They are raising money for the British Heart Foundation.

You can sponsor him here.

Thanks!

All the Small Things

2011-06-03T07:46:00.001+01:00

I know I haven't posted in a while, and I plan to write a big post soon. or maybe not. I'm not sure I want to write what's going on in my head. Right now keeping it in my head is a good thing. If I put it down, then it looks real ugly and I don't like that.

I've got a long weekend coming up, and once that's passed then I'm just taking each day one at a time, with my little white pills to help me along the way.

My Muse, she weaves threads of red, gold and green.

2011-05-23T20:55:00.001+01:00

So, some of you know that for the last few years I've been compiling ideas for a novel. It's one of my dreams to be a published writer. Over the last few weeks it's been in the forefront of my mind.

Tonight my muse paid a visit. In Sepia. And this is what I came up with.

"She stood on the roof of the building, the city spread out below her, lights twinkling. The wind whipped her hair around her and forked lightening flashed through the sky. Arms outstretched and eyes closed, her face raised to the sky. She leaned forward and gravity took it's hold."

It's a long way to go yet, and I have loads of other paragraphs that I'm not entirely sure where to put them, but this is the start. The very first paragraph.

Although once I finish it (I will!) and a publisher decides they want to publish, there's no doubt that if may not make the final cut.

Who knows!

Can't wait for more inspiration and a chance to share with you all.

3's

2011-05-11T00:11:00.000+01:00

Ever heard the saying "it happens in 3's"? It rang true today. Well technically yesterday now, but whatever.

Let me tell you about my 3's.

1. I got on the train with my train pass (3 months validity, still 2 months left on it) my work pass, my collectors pass (for work), my warrant badge and card, my Oyster card, My Staff Travel Pass and Staff Travel Discount pass and my bank card, in this lovely black wallet style, well, pass holder.
I got off the train and it was gone. I looked everywhere. I called the station I boarded the train from and got them to search the platforms and ask the ticket office if anything was handed in. I got information to radio control to check with the guard. NOTHING.

I got to work, called Oyster and cancelled the card and got a new one issued. I called the bank and cancelled my bank card. I spoke to my boss to cancel my work pass and note everything as missing and requests for new ones. I filled in the form to replace my missing travel documents of which it's costing me a £15 charge for each item to be replaced.

2. I go to the photo machine to get some photos done to replace my ID Photo Card. The machine asks me to insert my money. I insert my £5. Nothing happens. No photos, no refund. I email the company requesting my £5 back! I use another machine where I can pay by card. Photo's done. They look crap.

3. On my way home I'm at a Pedestrian crossing, as I start to cross, a car flies past me, driver not paying attention to the road, rather choosing to continue his conversation on his phone (ILLEGAL!!) and almost kills me) or at least nearly injures me.

Overall, it wasn't a good day.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't Tuesday, but Monday in disguise (she does that occasionally)

Here's hoping Wednesday is nice to me.

untitled

2011-05-10T04:31:00.000+01:00

taken in Greenwich Park, London, UK.

Today's Photo

2011-05-09T22:31:00.000+01:00

Stats confuse me

2011-05-08T12:06:00.000+01:00

I'm not one to look at the stats on this blog. In fact I very rarely check them, maybe every 2 months or so.
Yesterday I decided to have a peek and got the shock of my life. Just over 900 hits in 2 days.

Wondering if it's some sort of error on Bloggers part, I checked again this morning.
A further 800 hits since I checked yesterday.

From some dude in the US, looking for Boobs.

I'm astounded.

the Birthday Bag

2011-05-07T15:52:00.005+01:00

We have a birthday bag. By we, I mean, myself and my 2 sisters-in-law. It's tradition, has been for the last 3 years at least.

The birthday bag is a cute gift bag in which we put presents in. I'd pack it for Tash, She'd pack it for Soph and Soph would pack it for me, and it would do the rounds each year.

Guess who lost the bag?

That'd be me.

I knew exactly where I'd put it, however sorting the flat out in the weeks after we moved, it got moved to somewhere else and now I can't find it. I've been looking for it for about 2 weeks now.

Today is Tash's birthday, and I have to have the bag, but despite looking everywhere, I can't find it.

So I plucked up the courage and told the girls, that I'd lost the bag, over twitter.

My sister-in-law Soph was gutted, and asked that I make the new bag highly inappropriate. So today I got a new bag (I just know that I'll find the old bag tomorrow or something). The tradition has evolved. See the new bag(s) in all their glory!

the problem with...

2011-04-29T16:54:00.000+01:00

I've not been feeling myself lately. Today especially.

Why?

Lies. Petty ones.

Lies damage things. Trust, Self-esteem, confidence, careers, relationships, and well, quite honestly the list goes on.

This one lie, it's pretty hurtful if I'm honest. It's damaged my trust and unfortunately my ability to eat in front of my work colleagues, I'm now very self-conscious.

Considering I love cooking, and therefore eating (don't get me wrong I'm not a pig, although if you listen to this one colleague of mine, I am) and parts of this blog are all about food and recipes, this poses a problem.

How in light of this ~~opinion~~ lie, can I enjoy cooking, and eating, and creating recipes and meals?

Over the last fews days I've not yet figured that out, and I'm not sure when or how I will.

Since this lie reached my ears, I've eaten less, and lost a dress size. For the first time in my life I am conscious of what I eat for fear of people judging me. It's unhealthy and the stepping stone for eating disorders.

I am determined not to take this path.
I won't let your lies do that to me.

You are pathetic and petty and mean, to make up lies about someone who's done nothing but be friendly and nice. You're the second colleague to tell lies about me, and no doubt I'm sure you won't be the last.

Office politics eh?

When one has friends like this, who needs enemies!

The Answering Machine

2011-04-09T21:27:00.002+01:00

In 3 days time we will finally have a phone line. That means that we can finally sort out our Internet and regular posting and surfing can resume!

Before we moved, we bought a telephone. A nice one, that we got quite a lot of money off, due to the store having a sale. £50 off, don't mind if I do!
This phone? It's awesome. 2 handset cordless phone with built in answering machine.

Thank god we are getting the line put in, because now I can use my new phone! And we can record a cool message!

The problem, hubs wants to have a regular message that says something along the lines off "we're not home, leave a message after the beep."

Where as I want to do something along the lines of an automated pick up service, like the banks have.

Something like this....

Thank you for calling the Masters Residence.
If you want to speak to Mr Masters, please press 1.
If you want to speak to Mrs Masters, please press 2.
If you want to speak to the person responsible for the bills, please press 3.
Alternatively please press 4 to speak to an operator.

*slight pause*

All of our lines are busy at present, but we do value your call, please continue holding and someone will answer your call shortly.

*slight pause*

We are sorry to keep you holding, if you would like to leave a message, someone will call you back as soon as possible.

Personally I think my version would be awesome. Brilliant way to get rid of telemarketers (because let's face it, BT will more than likely sell our number on). Also I'd find it extremely hilarious.

Barefoot Foodie, a review of posts.

2011-04-04T03:32:00.001+01:00

For work I'm doing an NVQ in Customer Services. Part of my course is that I have to do a reading task. I find material, read it and write what I've learnt.
It was harder than I thought, until I read a post by Brittany over at Barefoot Foodie.
I asked if I could use her post, she said Sure thing, and now here we are.

You can view her post here. Barefootfoodie.com

Enjoy.

Task 2. Reading

Source Document Title – I don't remember the part of our vows where I was the one nominated to be in charge of keeping everyone alive. (attached and highlighted)

Sourced from – BarefootFoodie.com (weblog)

Author - Brittany Gibbons

I've been reading the Barefoot Foodie for a fair few months now, delightfully funny and amusing filled with Laugh Out Loud stories and loads of things I can relate to. I also follow Brittany on Twitter, simply because her tweets are the same as her posts, hilarious and interesting.

I found it difficult choosing my source material for this task, however going over a few of the blogs I read on a regular basis, I came across this one, and decided to use it, first asking permission from Brittany of course, because the internet can get crabby when one decides to use someone else’s material without consent. I've seen it happen. It's pretty ugly at times.

This particular post is about Brittany's husband Andy, who went away on a business trip leaving Brittany at home with the children. The weather? It was not so nice.

One of my favourite line of the entire post has got to be

“Last night it stormed. Super loudly. It was the Donald Trump of storms. I was all, seriously, storm, I can't understand anything you are saying, when did you become a republican, why are we yelling!?”

That line is one of the many reasons that I regularly tune into Brittany's blog. It's hilarious.

I've highlighted the parts of the post that interest me and will explain what I've learnt from these highlighted snippets.

1] Some storms are horrid, but really bad storms, we call them the Donald Trump of storms, or in the UK's eyes, the Alan Sugar of Storms.

2] Murders are notorious for striking during Thunderstorms, therefore one should take great care in ensuring that your home is secure during a Thunderstorm. Just in case, because you never know.

3] Mothers work extra hard and never get much time to themselves so that they can have sex dreams about Mr Darcy. One should also never tell ones wife that one is tired, when she is most likely probably exhausted and will in turn publish a blog post about the entire episode.

4] You're never too old for your own mother. Especially when they come bearing wine and cute dogs. The wine is the most important part. It's helps to keep one sane when dealing with horrid storms, possible murderers and children that run you ragged.

What about me Greg? Can you milk me?

2011-04-03T18:31:00.000+01:00

The other morning, on my way into work, I picked up a magazine.
I sat on the train, flipping through my magazine, when I came across an article, that, well, caught my attention.

A real life article, stating, “Listen, stop judging me...”

The article title – WHY is it wrong to BREASTFEED my 13-year-old?

Yeah. I'm pretty sure you're looking at the screen the EXACT same way I was looking at this magazine article. With a What. The. Fuck. Expression and a little bit of disbelief and maybe some disgust.

The article, it even has pictures. Of a rather large boy feeding from his mothers bosom.

I've seen the debates online, the many topics of breastfeeding. Pro-BF, Anti-BF, Breast is Best, Nursing in public, etc etc. The breastfeeding debate online is vicious. I've seen such angry and rude comments about the subject, that it makes me cross.

I appreciate that for some women breastfeeding is not possible. Problems with milk production, latching on and the list goes on. I understand that some women do not like the idea of breastfeeding, preferring instead to formula feed. I've read the debates on line, read the comments and formed my own decision.

My decision is this.

My personal opinion is that when I have kids, my choice will be to breastfeed my children, if I can. If for whatever reason I am not able to do that, then I will formula feed. After all I can't leave my kid to starve.

If I am able to breastfeed, then I will do so until such time as my kid starts teething. Plastic nipple teats on bottles cope much better with teething babies, than actual nipples.

Not having any kids, I can't comment on the feeling of such experiences, however, as a woman, the idea of a baby that is teething and doesn't really understand what to do with said teeth latching on to my nipples.... NO WAY IN HELL.

That's my choice and I'm sticking to it.

So back to this article.

Rachel Waddell, From Yorkshire, is a 40 year old married mother of 3.

Rachel's son is 13, and weighs 10 stone, and still breast-feeds.

Rachel explains that neither her nor her sister were breastfed as babies, and when she fell pregnant for the first time she wanted to give her child the best possible start to life. She read up on breastfeeding, met with a breastfeeding group, read up on the benefits, the fact that some women aren't able to physically breastfeed, etc. She was determined to “give it a go”.

Once her son was born, breastfeeding was natural and the young baby thrived. Whilst other children his age caught colds and illness, Rachel's little one went from strength to strength. When he was 5, Rachel gave birth to another son, but still continue to breastfeed her now 5 year old 4 times per day, sometimes having to feed both children at the same time.

In public places, other mothers gave her looks of disgust and called her a freak and a weirdo, and although Rachel became used to such comments and looks, the hurt feelings were still there. Rachel's husband Dave (false name) encouraged her to laugh about it, and referred to her boobs as “milking machines”.

Several years later, the family had the heartache of losing family members to Cancer. Both of her in-laws passed away, losing their lives to cancer. Seeing family members suffer was heartbreaking and Rachel spent hours researching what the family could do to protect themselves from Cancer.

She read online an article on breastfeeding, it read “It's immune-stimulating effects may provide another significant advantage – protection against cancer.”

The article got her thinking. If she could give her kids the best chance at life, then why not her husband.

(it was at this point I did my second OMG expression)

Rachel discussed with her husband the article and he agreed to give breastfeeding a chance. To quote the article, I will do in full, so to give the full picture.

“At first he looked a bit hesitant, but eventually he agreed. I lifted up my nightdress and helped him latch on, just as I'd done with our sons. He began sucking and I giggled “Whoa there, gently!” As he fed from my breasts, I felt the same strong bond I'd experienced with our kids. Felt closer to him than ever, knowing I was looking after him.”

The article carries on with, “There was nothing sexy about it. I didn't see my breasts as sexual objects and neither did the kids or even Dave. He was far happier concentrating on other important parts of my body to keep pour love life sizzling!”

Time passed and Rachel gave birth to her third child, a girl, and by then her first son was almost a teenager and she tried to cut back his feeds to twice a day plus the occasional treat.

“It meant I was breastfeeding all three kids and my husband.”

On days when she was feeling under the weather, she'd even drink a small amount of her own milk, to perk herself up.

Rachel goes on in the article, advising that she constantly asks her children if they want to stop breastfeeding, but they say no, because they love being close to her.

She also advises that none of their friends know that they still breastfeed, because she has been sworn to secrecy.

Rachel often tells her children that their situation is not weird, it's just different, and the article ends with her explaining why she is telling her story in the magazine, to try and make readers understand where she is coming from. She says “Breastfeeding keeps my kids healthier, makes them more intelligent and, I hope, might even protect my husband from getting ill in the future. Until my children decide they don't want any more, this milk machine will keep producing their favourite treat.”

This article was told to Kara Dolman and Christina Windsor for That's Life Magazine, Issue 14 - April 7^th 2011. That's Life Magazine pay up to £1000 for every story they print.

I've read this article three times now, and skimmed read it more times than I care to admit. I read it so often because I couldn't fully get my head around the notion of breastfeeding your kids into their teens and also breastfeeding your husband/partner.

I understand the benefits of breastfeeding your children, but when is enough enough? It's obviously down to each parental set, personally, as explained before, I'd stop as soon as my kid starting teething. I'd like my nipples to remain attached to the end of my boobs. That's wouldn't stop me from expressing milk and bottle feeding.

At what point do you stop your child from latching on to your breasts? 1 or 2, is the normal, from what I can see, and from experience with friends, nieces, nephews and god-children. But 13? Isn't that a bit too old to still be latching on to the breast?

The only other part of the article that bothers me, is where Rachel's says she's been sworn to secrecy, yet here she is giving a magazine article about breastfeeding her 13 year old child, and her husband. With pictures.

If you're sworn to secrecy, why do a magazine article, with photos? Surely there is every chance that someone you know, someone who knows your husband or your kids will read this article.

Was it for the money? To point out we don't actually know what sum was paid out, we can assume a sum was paid out, as That's Life magazine advises at the bottom of the article that they pay up to £1000 for every story that they print. Do I dare say it? Ah, what the heck, could this just be a publicity stunt?

After I'd read the article, I broached the subject in the office at work, read out a few parts of it, and showed everyone the pictures in the article. Pretty much every colleague of mine was in disbelief and slightly weirded out by it.

I then put it to Twitter, and @turbotas replied with “that's just too fricking weird. Three large lads? Poor woman must have nipples the size of dinnerplates :-)”

@justjuggling replied with “little britain-esque”

In fact, Jayne (@justjuggling) has a point. If you've ever watched Little Britain, there is a character called Harvey Pincher, a man who still breast-feeds from his mother, despite the fact that he's about 30, with his famous catchphrase “bitty!”. If you head over to YouTube and do a search for “Little Britain Bitty”, you'll get a fair few clips. It's cringe-worthy and hilarious (because that's the intention).

But this is real life (apparently).

This isn't the first article I've read of such things. A few months ago, in a similar styled magazine, I read a story of a woman who decided to breast feed her father to help him when he was diagnosed with Cancer. It seems that after several months of feeding him, his tumours shrank and this lady and her father firmly believe that breast milk is a good additional therapy to your regular chemo and radiation.

I suspect that this won't be the last article I'll see on such a topic, but I'm still interested to see what others think.

What do you think Internet?

I want to know what you think of this story, of this situation.

What was your reaction when you started reading this post.

Go one interwebs. Hit me with it. You know you wanna.

I'm sick.

2011-03-29T16:37:00.000+01:00

I'm sick.
I wonder how many posts I've started like this? I don't think I'm going to bother going through my archiving files to count.
Really want to move away from blogspot to wordpress, so I can do cool things.
Anyway. I digress.

Saturday evening I had a sore throat and runny nose. It's allergies season, runny nose is common, sore throat, not so much. But then again it's always cold season in England.

If there was an Olympic Medal for colds, then I'd always win Gold. Just sayin.

Sunday, I'm wheezy and coughing and bleurgh.

Monday, I'm worse, but I go to work anyway. (glutton for punishment is my name it seems) I don't even make a full shift.

Tuesday, wake up worse, call doctors office, have appointment within the hour.

See nice new doctor (who doesn't look a day over 21!) who after checking me over and prodding and poking me with her stethoscope (which thank god wasn't ice cold!) tells me I have Bronchitis. Not viral bronchitis, bacterial. Because I'm lucky like that.

Off I trot with a prescription for a lot of drugs and instructions to rest and take said drugs with food. If my wheezing doesn't come under control then I'm to head to Accident & Emergency to be nebulised.

These damn steroids better start kicking in.
I don't want to go to hospital.
I can guarantee you that hubs won't want to go either, cause he hates them.

I hate being sick, cause there's nothing to do, nothing on tv, just nothing. I don't even have proper internet connection.

*insert massive coughing fit*

Guess that's my queue to finish up.
Can't even write a post on here to get 15 minutes respite from this stupid illness.

Well at least I'm not infectious.
I don't think.

Sent from my iPhone

Happy Birthday!!!

2011-03-24T17:31:00.000Z

It's my birthday today!
Have some cake!!

It's not over till the Fat lady Sings

2011-03-23T14:41:00.000Z

Ive just completed my assessments.
They were hard.
I'm glad they're over now, because with the feeling of relief that they're over, comes the relief of the anxiety I've been feeling about doing them.

Now comes a whole new load of anxious feelings. I have to wait a week to hear if I passed or not. A week.

If I pass then I go to the next stage for formal interview with a panel of management and HR.

So hold your fingers crossed for me!

In other news? It's my birthday tomorrow.
Normally at this point I have passed excitement and have run into complete hyperactive overdrive.

I don't feel birthday(y).

I feel numb. There's a range of emotions running through me and my body can't settle on just one, it's just numb.

It's my birthday tomorrow and I'm working from 6am.

Am I looking forward to it?
Not one bit.

The Text Message that Blew my Mind

2011-03-23T06:43:00.000Z

March 18th I posted about obsessive behaviour and harassment.
Yesterday I was asked to removed said post and apologise to man B.
Which I did.

I am not happy that I've had to do it but I understand why.
What I don't understand is why I'm now being accused of harassment over 1 blog post that is 100% true.

The person accusing me has not spoken to me since Friday and is blaming me for his actions.
On top of that - accusing me of harassment.

Then last evening I get this text message from them.

"Good luck in your assessment 2mo, hope u do well"

I nearly died.
In fact when I received it and opened it my actual words were "you have got to be fucking kidding me"

My husband said I should just ignore it.

My brother-in-law (kinda) said to reply with "leave me alone you twat and delete my number from your phone. I don't want you contacting me outside of work"

So far I've just ignored it. Like every other text messages (41) I've been sent from this person.

I'm done.

Today's Photo - Censorship

2011-03-22T18:14:00.000Z

A Removal.

2011-03-22T11:28:00.000Z

A Removal.

You may have noticed that I've removed the post from the 18th March asking for advice on how to deal with obsessive behaviour or harassment.

I have been told that this post is harassment (ironic?) and that I could be taken to court for harassment.

For the time being I have removed it, however it doesn't change the behaviour in question.

However I will issue the "apology" requested.

Dear Man B,
I am sorry that you feel I have harassed you with my post on the 18th of March 2011.
Me.

So there is my apology. It is genuine. However, I still stand by the fact that the behaviour in question (of removed post) is obsessive and harassing. I also wonder if a written apology will be issued. In all honestly, highly unlikely.

Pot, Kettle?

Today's Photo

2011-03-21T05:02:00.000Z

Mondays. Don't ya love em?

Today's Photo

2011-03-20T11:43:00.000Z

Best friend Tabetha

2011-03-19T11:57:00.002Z

Good day to you.

I'm sitting in our new flat just after breakfast, having ordered 2 bookshelves and watching The Gadget Show seeing all the little gadgets in the world I want but can't afford.

I've not blogged in forever.

Perhaps some notes, I'm not Becca. Indeed I don't look, act, smell or behave remotely like Becca. I am Becca's husband and basically, I am awesome. You think Becca is cool? You aint seen nothing. You think she's funny? I fart in your general direction. You think Becca is intelligent? Well you're wrong, my wife is like two short planks. Thick.

I'm no stranger to blogging, I have blogged for upwards of 10 years. Way back in the early days of this millenium there existed a website known as Alfred's Cheese Emporium, or ACE for short. ACE was the home for two not quite usual chaps, Chimbles and Flams. These two would post daily for an audience of 1 or 2 people. With articales like "do something dangerous friday" and "how many pringles should you eat at once?" the internet never knew what hit it. The popularity grew until with great sadness it was no more. Arguably it peaked with "brushing your teeth with english mustard" but we'll never know.

Alfred's cheese emporium was the start of my entanglement with blogging. Over the years I went through many blogs, indeed I still have one that hasn't been updated in almost a year. Its always the way. Boy meets blog, boy blogs all the time, boy discovers more exciting things on the internet, boy leaves blog. I wouldn't mind so much, but I put a tonne of effort into my most recent blog, my brother gave me space on his domain, installed wordpress and I messed with the source code like nobodies business. See thats the bit of blogging I like, making the page look NICE.

The peak of web design for me was at University, where I built a working shop using PHP. The realisation of what I'm doing is working is amazing. I had no idea how to use PHP and when it finally clicked one day (literally in a lazy afternoon at home) I was ecstatic. Same with CSS, HTML and even XML, though I still don't see the point for XML.

Incredibly, I'm seen as an IT genius around some of my friends. When I signed up for ICT at college I had never used a modern computer (true story!) and when the teacher told us to log in I had literally no idea what I was doing. Fast forward to now and I could knock up a semi decent website within an hour (probably) that would impress you for minimum effort.

Well this blog has been decidedly wandering. My name is Daniel and I might share some thoughts with you from time to time. Pretty soon I'll share my top secret recipe for spaghetti and meatballs.

Daniel, out.

Go Alan, it's ya birfday!

2011-03-19T09:40:00.003Z

This is Alan, today it's his Birthday.

Alan (above) is my brother-in-law. You see, he's pretty special (at the moment) cause he's my only brother-in-law. That will change when my younger sister gets married and my younger brother gets civil-ceremonied.

Alan is 25 today. Half English, Half Portuguese. He tans really well.
He does running, a lot. He's pretty good at it, looks all proper and stuff, not like Phoebe from Friends, arms and legs all waving like a lunatic.

So yeah, today is his Birthday. This is a Birthday post. Wish him a Happy Birthday.

Sorry there's no cake. But wouldn't it be totally cool, if you could click a button on your browser and cake popped out of the disc drive? Come on computer manufacturers, this would be awesome!!!!

Happy Birthday Alan!!

Today's Inspirational Picture

2011-03-19T09:26:00.000Z

Today's Photo

2011-03-18T23:48:00.001Z

Introducing Angle, the Peace Lilly

2011-03-16T23:44:00.000Z

An Update

2011-03-13T10:21:00.000Z

Well ive not posted in a while, mainly due to moving.
We're all moved now, and everything is sorted (mostly)
Still no phone line and therefore no proper interweb connection. Which is annoying, but by mid April (if not sooner!) I hope we've got it all sorted out.

It's unlikely that I'll update that often, cause posting to my blog on this teeny iPhone is hard yo. Damn autocorrect and shit. It tries my patience!

Anyhoos, keep your eyes peeled.

Oy. The number of corrections ive had in this short time is stupid.

Sheesh.

Sent from my iPhone

3 days and extraction!

2011-03-04T21:06:00.000Z

In 3 days, we will be moving. No thanks to my wonderful bank, who screwed me over and cost us another £87!

Anyways, enough talk about bad rubbish.

3 days. That rope I talked about? It didn't snap. It's slowly repaired itself (amazing eh? magic rope!)

Monday, we move, into our own home. Ours. All Ours.

We have to paint, and clean. Although I am assured by the Letting Agent that the property will be cleaned before we move, I suspect that it will not be to my standards! So we clean! Then? We put things away.

I plan to do a before and after post. and I can't wait to share it all with you.

In other news? I'm having surgery. To remove two very impacted lower wisdom teeth. This surgery requires me to have 4 days away from work (which I have had to use annual leave - boo!), be put under with a GA, and then spend the day in a hospital (not my husbands favourite place).
But I get to eat lots of liquidised food, like milkshakes! NOM.

Also, I will be in lots of pain, so if you want to buy me a gift, then please look here for something suitable. or here.

I tried to look for a picture of wisdom tooth extraction, but the google images that I found? not so nice.

I am however wanting to make a set of earrings out of my two teeth. Providing they are ok for me to do so.
Hey, if the redneckmommy can having earrings out of roadkill critters then I can have earrings made from my wisdom teeth!

Buttermilk Pancakes

2011-02-26T14:22:00.001Z

What you Need

120ml buttermilk
50ml skimmed milk
150g plain flour
1/2 teaspoon of baking powder
pinch of salt
3 large eggs
butter and vegetable oil for frying

What you do

Sift the dry ingredients into a bowl, and make a well.
Whisk the buttermilk, eggs and milk and add to the dry ingredients.
Mix well until the mixture is a smooth batter with no lumps.
Heat some butter and veg oil in a hot frying pan, add a ladle of the mixture.
Once the sides of the pancake has bubbles forming, it's time to turn them (usually takes about 1 minute)
Turn and allow to cook on the otherside.
Serve.

You can serve these pancakes on their own with Canadian Maple syrup.
Alternatively you can mix chocolate chips into the batter, or fresh blueberries.

You can also slice a banana, and chop some pecans. Stack the pancakes, top with the banana and chopped pecans, and pour a generous helping of maple syryp.

In fact you can put pretty much anything with these pancakes. Bacon, Sausages, Strawberries and Whipped cream, blueberries, chocolate chips, bananas and pecans, fruit salad, anything really.

Bon Apetit!

Getting Lippy about Forced Marriages

2011-02-23T17:07:00.000Z

September 19th 2009. The day I got married. The day I'd planned in my head since I was 15.

We planned the wedding within a year. We had cake tastings, looked at photographer portfolios, sampled sparkling wine. There were dress fittings and suit fittings, and we made invitations, and bought rings, and chose flowers. It was perfect, and wonderful (even if I did mess up my vows and cause the registrar to have to start all over again!) It was my wedding, my marriage, to a man I chose. A man I loved.

Unfortunatley some women do not get to choose the men they will marry. In fact some women never even set eyes on the man they will marry until it's time to say "I DO". Sometimes they are tricked into flying to another country to be married off, or sold for Citizenship, sometimes they aren't even adults, but teenage girls. They are abused, raped, and beaten. I'm not just talking about Arranged Marriages, I am talking about Forced Marriages.

Arranged marriages have deep roots in Royal and Aristocratic families around the world. Today, it is largely practiced in South Asia (India, Pakistan, Bangladesh) Africa, the Middle East, and East Asia to some extent.

To explain an arranged marriage, it's where two sets of parents decide that their children will marry. Family 1 has a son, and Family 2 has a daughter. The parents have decided on the match, and the marriage goes ahead.

Royal families practiced this for many generations, Princes were bethroved to Princesses, Kingdoms would be united, as in The Swan Princess.

Forced mariages are different. I'm thinking it's the term "Forced" that gives it away.

This story is one of many stories that hits the headlines. 15, abused for refusing a forced marriage, sold for £10,000 so that her "husband" could become a British Citizen. Only 1 example of Forced Marriage out of thousands. Quoting the article - "Figures obtained by Newsbeat show that her ordeal is one of many suffered by an estimated 1,735 potential forced marriages involving British citizens in 2010."

If I said the name Bibi Aisha, would you know who I'm talking about?

What if I showed you this picture?

Bibi Aisha is an young woman from Afghanistan. In 2009 she fled her husband's house, complaining of beatings, maltreatment and a life, not uncommon among women in Afghanistan, that amounted to abject slavery. She was promised to a Taliban fighter by her father when she turned 12 as payment to settle a dispute – a practice in Afghanistan that goes by the name of "baad".

Having endured years of torment and abuse she escaped to the only place she could go to, back to her family home. Her freedom didn't last long, she was taken back to her her husband to face punishment.

She was taken away to a mountain clearing, where the local Taliban commander issued his verdict. She was then held down by her brother-in-law, while her husband first sliced off her ears and then cut off her nose. Aisha passed out from the pain but soon awoke choking on her blood, abandoned by her torturers and the ad-hoc judiciary of the Taliban.

According to Time Magazine, the Taliban commander who awarded the punishment later said that Aisha had to be made an example "lest other girls in the village try to do the same thing".

With the help of the American military, aid workers took her to a women's refuge in Kabul run by an Afghan-American organisation, Women for Afghan Women (WAW). There she remained, under the care of trained social workers, until August 2010, at around the time the Time Magazine cover appeared.

These 2 seperate cases, both horrific, both very real, are more common than people realise. Not every story makes it into the news, on to the web, into the public eye.

These women had no choice.

I got to choose my husband, for love and companionship.

These women got forced to marry strangers and were abused and scarred in the process.

Thousands of women (and men) each year are forced into marriages. It's unfair. It's unjust. It needs to be stopped.

For 100 years, International Womens Day has been active. Women working for equality and fairness.

This March 8th, show your support, for these two women and thousands more who don't get a choice. Get Lippy. Have your say. Show your support and help highlight these issues, so that more people are aware of them, in the hopes that one day every woman, no matter who she is, where she lives or what her religion is, has the choice.

Until we are all equal, none of us are equal.

credit where credits due? apparantly not.

2011-02-21T20:47:00.000Z

Today has not been a good day. In fact, the last 4 days have not been good days. Ever since my bank screwed up my account reference for the estate agent we are using to rent the flat that we found.

My complaint has been escalated, and I've spent more money than I care to actually think about right now, on phone calls to the bank.

The gist is the estate agent won't accept my bank statements. My bank has screwed up my reference, mainly because the person who initially dealt with it didn't read it properly. Fast forward to today, and Jill, a minion of the bank tells me that the check they do is based on my credit history, file and report, and that basically I have a bad credit history. In actual fact I have accounts with the companies that compile credit histories, and every 3/4 months, I log in to said accounts and check my records. Make sure stuff isn't on there that shouldn't be on there, etc etc.

I logged in this evening, and from what I can see, my credit scoring is above average, my file is unblemished, and my history is pretty good shape (no bloodshed or wars). I never make late payments, or forget to make payments. I don't constantly apply for credit. I have a reasonable salary coming in, on a regular basis. I run my account well (according to every person I have ever spoken to at my stupid bank) so for the life of me, I cannot understand why the bank have chosen to tell my estate agent that I cannot afford to make rental payments each month.

I'm confused. I feel lost and overwhelmed and upset. And angry.

We've started packing, and buying things for our new flat, our first home together, that's all ours and not shared with anyone. We've paid the money, signed the agreement. There is just this one reference that's blocking us. Standing in the way of us having a home together and I don't understand why. After my bills are paid, I have a lot of money left over, in fact enough to cover the stupid rental cost of £347.50 for my share of the rent, with money left over. I don't understand. It doesn't make sense. and no one will explain it to me. Instead I get crappy unhelpful responses from a bank that clearly doesn't care about its customers.

I've requested for a 2nd request, this time for just my amount of the rent. If that comes back the same as the last one, then that rope? the rope holding this package together? it's snapped. we will have lost our new home, and a sizeable chunk of money.

I havent felt like this in a long time. I hate it. I'm anxious. I'm upset. I'm stressed.

I know life isn't fair, but for just one moment, just one, give me a break?
I think I deserve one.

Get Lippy with ActionAid UK

2011-02-19T09:45:00.001Z

Get Lippy on International Womens Day

2011-02-19T09:05:00.001Z

On the 8th of March, the world at large will be celebrating International Womens Day. It has been celebrated every year since 1911 and each year gains more support and strength. For a fair few number of years now, the United Nations has held an annual IWD conference to coordinate international efforts for women's rights and participation in social, political and economic processes. Women everywhere SHOULD be equal.

Because if we aren’t equal everywhere, we aren’t equal anywhere.

It's time to shine a spotlight on the struggles women are facing today in the developing world and to build solidarity to tackle the urgent challenges ahead. We must work towards a world where women and men, girls and boys have equally good chances in life, free from want and free from fear. Where everyone is equal.

This year I am teaming up with ActionAid UK to Get Lippy by sending a message of support to women in developing countries who will be speaking up for their rights on the 8th of March. I'm hoping that you'll all Get Lippy with me.

If you want to know more about IWD, you can visit www.internationalwomensday.com

If you want to know more about ActionAid UK's Get Lippy campaign you can visit www.actionaid.org.uk

I'll be featuring a few blog posts between February 21st and February 28th and on IWD, March 8th, I'll be posting also.

You can also follow the Get Lippy Campaign on Twitter by using the hashtag #GetLippy

and they did it again.

2011-02-18T10:46:00.000Z

Remember when I wrote about this?
Oh yeah, and this too?

Well, yes, yes I shit you not, they have done it again.
This time with a reference to confirm I have money entering my account each month.

As you know the hubs and I are about to rent a flat. We've paid the money, signed the agreement, and all we need now are the references.
Every reference has been perfect until my bank entered into the equation.
They are currently the last string on the rope that is holding this package together, and that string my friends is about to snap. and as it snaps it will hit me in the face and I'll most likely see red.

Instead of confirming to the estate agent that I have money entering my account each month to cover the joint claim of a rental, the bank have written back with this -

"From the information we have available, we are unable to confirm the customer would be able to meet the commitment you are suggesting"

My head? It imploded.

Invisible, Imaginary money? I has it!

After 7 phone calls, and a lot of civilised ranting and complaining. I have been told that my complaint has now been escalated. It will take 5 working days to confirm they know about my complaint, and then they will investigate.
I move in 17 days.
17.
1.7.
17.
SEVENTEEN!!!

The last string, it is wearing out, and with it my patience, and my sanity and my ability not to go into the tool shed, grab a shovel and beat the crap out of someone.
(last sentence for imagery only, not actually going to happen!)

I've done all I can do now.
This blows.
LloydsTSB, you blow too.

Bite Me.

Todays Picture - Valentines Day

2011-02-14T19:34:00.002Z

Spiced Butternut Squash & Carrot Soup

2011-02-13T11:10:00.000Z

What you Need

4 large carrots
1 medium sized butternut squash
1/4 of a red chili
3 large cloves of garlic
2 large onions
olive oil
1/2 teaspoon of paprika
1/2 teaspoon of chili powder
1/2 teaspoon of garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon of tumeric
1 teaspoon of cumin
1 litre of vegetable stock
500ml water (optional)
100ml double cream (optional)
salt and pepper
parsley (to garnish)

What you Do

Heat some olive oil in a pan.
Chop the onions, carrots, squash, garlic, and chili.
Once oil is heated, add the chopped vegetables into the pan and cook on a medium heat until soft.
Add the spices to the pan and continue to heat for a further 5 minutes.
Add the vegetable stock and bring the pan to the boil. Allow to boil for 20 minutes.
Add the hot water if neccessary.
Once the vegetables are soft and cooked through, season with salt and pepper, and the blend thoroughly with a handheld blender.
Add the double cream and stir well.
Dish into soup bowls and garnish with a sprig of parsley.
Serve and enjoy!


not shown - sprig of parsley

Bon Apetite!

Sign here, and here, and here.

2011-02-12T12:12:00.000Z

So it's almost official. Almost. So close that I can taste it. Almost.

Yesterday we received the Tenancy Agreement, on our own home. Yeah Yeah it's not buying, but in this climate and the "help" you can get from the goverment, you can't afford to buy a house unless a) you're rich, b) rich relative leaves you lots of money or a house, c) you win a substantial amount on the lottery or d) you rob a bank and don't get caught. In all honesty, none of those apply to us.

In able for us to buy we would need a deposit down-payment of a minimum of £20,000 to secure a mortgage. We then would need another £5,000 for costs, plus probably another £6,000 for decorating and possible refurbishment. If only I could just bend over and pull £31k out of my rear. whatever.

So, the flat, apartment, whatever you want to call it. It looks like we has one!

It's big, and comfy, and I can't wait to move in. All we need to do is sign, hand over the money, and off we go.

Oh yeah, we also need furniture. But that's ok. I don't mind sitting on the floor for a bit. It's character building.

And The Winner Is......

2011-02-10T15:27:00.000Z

Recently I ran a competition in partner with CNS, an online UK retailer.
The competition closed yesterday, and today I have picked a winner.

I took everyones comments, put them into my little pot and gave it a good shake, then I drew the winner.

That Winner is sarahlouiseclark.

Sarah you'll need to give me your email address so that I can send you your £25 gift voucher. Please drop me an email at becca [dot] j [dot] masters @ googlemail [dot] com.

Congratulations!

To all the other entrants, apologies. I wanted to pick everyone, but I only had 1 gift code. But stay tuned as I will be running more competitions in the future!

Give Away!

2011-02-02T10:00:00.046Z

It's Give Away Time!!

I'm giving one lucky reader the chance to win a £25 gift voucher code to use at any of the CNS Online UK Stores. Need some new Cookware? A new TV Stand? New Wardrobes or Chest of Drawers?

http://www.csnstores.co.uk

http://www.allmodern.co.uk/

http://www.cookwarebycsn.co.uk/

http://www.furniturebycsn.co.uk/

http://www.lightingbycsn.co.uk/

http://www.tvstands.co.uk/

If you'd like the chance to win the £25 voucher code then just leave a comment below saying hello and telling me why you want to win.

The Winner will be picked at random on the 9th of February. Unfortunately the competition is only open to UK entrants, due to CNS only shipping within the UK.

I will be running more competitions, that will be open worldwide, so please stay tuned.

Todays Picture

2011-02-01T15:09:00.000Z

Imbolc Lamb Stew & Chive Dumplings

2011-02-01T12:36:00.005Z

Imbolc Lamb Stew & Chive Dumplings: Serves 4 - 6
750g Diced Lamb
750ml Cold Water
2 Medium Onions (Peeled & Chopped)
3 Medium Carrots (Peeled & Diced)
4 Medium Potatoes (Peeled & Diced)
100g Frozen Peas
1 Tsp Salt & Pepper
1 Tbs Parsley Chopped
Chive Dumplings
125g Self-Raising Flour
1 Teaspoon Butter or 45g Suet
½ Tsp Salt
1 Tbsp Chives - Chopped
Milk

Method Place the lamb in a saucepan, cover with water, add the peeled and diced carrots and potatoes, chopped onions, salt, pepper, bay leaf, and parsley. Bring to boil; reduce heat and simmer for an hour or until lamb and vegetables are tender. Adjust the seasoning and add the peas then simmer for further 10 minutes. Drop dumpling dough by heaped dessert spoonfuls on top of hot bubbling stew. Cover tightly; cook 15 – 20 minutes.
Chive Dumplings: Sift together flour and salt. Rub in butter/suet, stir in chives. Add enough milk to make a soft, sticky dough.

Imbolc Eve

2011-02-01T11:49:00.002Z

Tis Imbolc Eve!!

There are eight main Sabbats : Samhain, Yule, Imbolc, Ostara, Beltane, Lithia, Lammas and Mabon. The Wheel of the Year.

Imbolc represents the return of light into the world. Usually celebrated starting at sundown on February 1st continuing through the day of February 2nd.
Imbolc means in the belly of the Mother as that is where seeds are beginning to stir in Spring. Imbolc is especially sacred to the Celtic Fire Goddess, Brigit, patron of smithcraft, healing, midwifery, and poetry.

Imbolc, also called Oimealg, (IM-mol'g), by the Druids, is the festival of the lactating sheep. Derived from the Gaelic word "oimelc" which means "ewes milk". Herd animals have either given birth to the first offspring of the year or their wombs are swollen and they're ready to give birth.

The changes in the seasons reflect our lives - changing through birth, maturity, old age and death.

Imbolc is regarded as the first day of Spring. Life is beginning to stir again. Bulbs are beginning to shoot and new lambs are born - the cycle of new life returns to the earth. Imbolc marks the rebirth of nature and fertility. Nature is awakening from her winter rest - the long winter darkness begins to break as the daylight hours begin to get longer. Christians celebrate this festival as Candlemas.

Imbolc is a 'fire festival'. Particular attention was paid to the hearth fire and keeping it alight, a lot of Wiccans/Pagans will light candles during this festival.

Spring cleaning comes from the habit at Imbolc of getting rid of unwanted clutter and preparing for the new season, physically and mentally.
Now is the time to finish old habits and make a fresh start, and realise the world is full of new opportunities.

Happy Imbolc to All and Blessed Be.

Todays Photo

2011-01-31T11:35:00.000Z

Coming Soon - A Give Away

2011-01-31T09:39:00.003Z

You probably saw a few days ago that I tweeted about the possibility of a Competition.
Well I've decided that I'm going to go ahead and do a competiton for you.

You see, I was approached by the Promotions Team @ CSN, a online store here in the UK.
I've partnered up with them to host a give away here at Life, Love, Food & Me. A chance to win a £25 Gift Voucher to use at any of their UK sites.

Having a look at their websites, it's pretty cool, they sell loads of things, from cookware, awesome (and amazing) coffee machines, to lights, beds, chest of drawers, and even TV stands. Don't think they'd have something for you, well think again. To my husbands dismay, I want to buy pretty much everything.

Have a look at their websites, I've listed below.

http://www.csnstores.co.uk

http://www.allmodern.co.uk/

http://www.cookwarebycsn.co.uk/

http://www.furniturebycsn.co.uk/

http://www.lightingbycsn.co.uk/

http://www.tvstands.co.uk/

Details on the competiton to come soon! Have a look and decide on what you'd like to spend your £25 voucher on. You never know, you might win!!!

Todays Picture

2011-01-28T11:34:00.000Z

St Ives 2011 - The Doctor takes a wife.

2011-01-27T18:12:00.000Z

This year, on October 1st 2011, my husband and I will get to watch 2 of our good friends get married. In St Ives. (hashtag #stives2011).

It started with #stives2010. Last May, the 4 of us went to St Ives for a week, and had a wonderful time. So wonderful that our friends got engaged! 18 months later and we will have a wedding.

It's going to be magical.

I leave you with some photos of this beautiful seaside town.

View to Godrevy

St Ives Harbour Beach

Oli, Sedj, & Me

Seals in the cove @ Godrevy

Me, Sedj, & Oli

Me & penguin!

Me feeding Lorakeets

Todays Picture

2011-01-24T20:22:00.002Z

Speak Out

2011-01-24T19:55:00.003Z

Today on my way home from work, I did my usual, I sat on the train, travelling home and I checked my twitter stream. I read a few blogs, and I commented, and then I came across a post on TheBloggess.com

I read it, albiet very quickly, and then emailed myself the link to go home and read properly.

I came home, and I did the mundane things, like make my dinner, put a load of laundry in, tidy up, and then I sat at my computer and I read, and I followed the links, and then I cried. (It also did not help that I had decided to play some Celine freaking Dion. Reading a heart-wrenching post whilst listening to "My Heart Will Go On" isn't the most clever of things I have ever done, I'll admit it.)

This post is about speaking out, not being afraid to ask for help or advice.

This post is about Mental Illness.

Research has shown that there is a stigma attached to mental illness, there shouldn't be. Why are we, as a society, afraid of this? There is nothing wrong with having a mental illness. There is help out there, and treatments, places for advice, people to talk to. Speak Out! Get Help! Don't be afraid. There are people out there who care. Who want to help.

Only last month I read a newspaper article about mental health issues, and I tweeted this.

I was shocked, hence my WFT?!? at the end of my tweet.

One one hand we have Society attaching a stigma to Mental Illness, and on the other hand we have 1 in 10 under 18's describing Mental Illness as "trendy".

Talk about difference of opinion!

Why?

Why are 1 in 10 under 18's thinking that Mental Illness are trendy? Why is it cool to say things like, "OMG I am so depressed" or "Yeah, couldn't be dealing, so I used my dad's razor on my leg". (please note I've never heard any person use the 2nd phrase, if I did I would be encouraging said person to see a medical practitioner!)

Did You Know?

1 in 4 British adults experience at least one diagnosable mental health problem in any one year, and one in six experiences this at any given time. - The Office for National Statistics Psychiatric Morbidity report (2001)

It is estimated that approximately 450 million people worldwide have a mental health problem. - World Health Organisation (2001)

Women are more likely to have been treated for a mental health problem than men (29% compared to 17%).This could be because, when asked, women are more likely to report symptoms of common mental health problems. - Better Or Worse: A Longitudinal Study Of The Mental Health Of Adults In Great Britain, National Statistics (2003)

One in ten children between the ages of one and 15 has a mental health disorder - The Office for National Statistics Mental health in children and young people in Great Britain (2005)

Yes, some of these statistics go back awhile, but they show something. There is a lot of people in the world who have mental health problems. These are the people who have sought help. What about those who haven't? Why are we afraid to seek help? What can we do to pull down the barriers around this type of illness? How can we stop Mental Illness being stigmatised?

When I was 18, I went through a phase where I felt sad, depressed and I did bad things.

I was lucky enough that I pulled myself together, and I stopped it. I stopped my destructive behaviour. It lasted 2 or 3 years, before I lapsed back, and I hid it well, then one day I decided I couldn't continue so I saw my GP. He listened, I cried and poured out my feelings, feelings of unworthiness, feelings of hopelessness, feelings of dispair, suicidal thoughts. I was diagnosed with Depression. I didn't blog about it. I didn't really talk about it. I took the pills.

Prozac.

I made jokes about being part of the Prozac nation. I eventually stopped taking them, and even though I sometimes have bad days, and I think about hurting myself to see if the pain is real, or thinking of how I could die, or what would happen if I did, I stop. I remind myself of the positive things in my life, and I stop.

I have friends and family with various different Mental Illnesses, and I've seen them deal with it. I've been their shoulder to cry on, their punch bag, there to listen to the sobs, the rants, the manical laughing, the person who calms them down, talks them out of doing things they'll regret, gives them advice. Show them love, and support and that I care and that they are important.

If you live in the UK, and you want help, there are lots of places online for information and advice.

Mind.Org.UK

Mental Health Foundation

Sane

Mental Health Support

If you live in the USA or Canada

National Institute of Mental Health

Mental Health America

Canadian Mental Health Association

Centre of Addiction and Mental Health

You can also contact your General Medicine Practitioner.

If you know someone who needs help, or advice, please don't stand by, let them know you care and are there for them.

If you think you have a Mental Illness, please, Speak Out.

Todays Picture

2011-01-22T12:14:00.000Z

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

2011-01-21T23:29:00.000Z

I believe every human being has the right to love another human being, same sex or not.

If a man and a woman can love each other and get married and have kids, then why can 2 men not do it? Or 2 women?

It's not dirty, or wrong, it's just human nature.

Gay people have just as many rights as straight people, and if you don't like it, that's your problem.

Todays Picture

2011-01-21T23:18:00.000Z

Todays Picture

2011-01-20T23:17:00.001Z

Chronicles of Gran

2011-01-20T22:06:00.000Z

I recently posted about my Gran and how I wanted to know her story, about her life, how she lived, grew up and well just everything! If you haven't already read it, then you can do so here.

I emailed my Gran, and I have 4 emails full of information. It's a lot to take in, plus I have my Aunts Family Tree website to verify dates and stuff. Needless to say it's going to take me ages to compile the full story, and I'll probably have to keep going back to my Gran with more questions. The thing is, I want to know it all.

So far what I have is awsome. It includes love, sorrow, romance, happiness, births, deaths and even the FBI!

I can't wait to share it with you all.

It's just immense.

Moon Magick

2011-01-19T23:40:00.003Z

Tonight we have a Full Moon, the first of this year. The Moon plays an important role in Wicca, which is probably why I've always been fascinated by it. It's mesmerising to look at. In Wicca, the Moon has always been referred to as a Female, we have female goddess/deities, such as Selene, a greek Titaness, Artemis, a Greek goddness and Diana, a Roman Goddess. They all represent the Moon. The Moon is cyclical, like women. We menstruate with her. She controls the tides. We've used the Moon to guide us for thousands of years.

Triple Goddess diadem

She mirrors the stages of our lives: "Maiden", "Mother" and "Crone", also known as the Triple Goddess. She is Changing Woman, as are we.

Spells and Rituals have guidelines as when best to be performed based on the Lunar Cycle.

* New Moon Magic *

New Moon workings can be done from the day of the new moon to three-and-a-half days after. The New Moon is for starting new ventures, new beginnings, a time to sow the seeds of future and success.

* Waxing Moon Magic *

From seven to fourteen days after the New Moon.The Waxing Moon is for constructive magick, to help build things, such as relationships, or to promote growth or give strength. A time to set things in motion.

* Full Moon Magic *

From fourteen to seventeen-and-a-half days after the New Moon. Any working that needs extra power, such as help finding a new job or healing for serious conditions, can be done now. Lunar energies at this time in the cycle are ripe and potent.

* Waning Moon Magic *

From three-and-a-half to ten-and-a-half days after the Full Moon.The Waning Moon is used for banishing magick, for ridding oneself of addictions, illness or negativity. Also for protection, cleansing and a time of reflection on oneself.

* Dark Moon Magic *

From ten-and-a-half to fourteen days after the Full Moon. Some say that the Dark Moon is a time for ridding oneself of bad habits, Binding spells, but that's what I use the Waning Moon for. The Moon is fading in the hemisphere, taking your bad habits away as it goes. The dark moon is a great time for Divination. Using Tarot cards or rune, getting some prospective in your life if you have confusions or questions.

We've recently had some interesting Lunar experiences, The Lunar Eclipse on the Winter Solstice (which was a pretty big deal), and now the first Full Moon of 2011, the Wolf Moon (or Old Moon). There are 12 full moons every year, however on occassion there are 13. 2009 was the last year to have the 13th Full Moon, also known as a Blue Moon, hence the saying "Once in a Blue Moon"! The next Blue Moon will occur in 2012, and then in 2015. The photo below was taken by my god-brother Brian Phelps who lives in the Caymans.


Lunar Eclipse on Winter Solsitce

Whenever we have an interesting Moon, I try to take pictures of her. It was very cloudy tonight, so the photos aren't great, but I'm going to share them anyway.

Wolf Moon 2011

Todays Picture

2011-01-16T15:37:00.000Z

Todays Picture

2011-01-14T19:46:00.002Z

Wheel of the Year

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

2011-01-14T19:33:00.000Z

I've read a lot of books. My last count of books on my shelves/under my bed/in drawers/stacked up the wall at my parents house was over 700. That was about 3 years ago. I think I've given about 50 away to charity, and bought/been given/found another 200 or so. Add that to the books my husband has and well, we've got A LOT of books. When we eventually find our own place, we're going to need a spare room full of shelves just for books.

There are genre's that I can't read, for one reason or another, and there are genre's that I can read until the cows come home and the pigs fly.
I love anything that is Paranormal or Urban Fiction, or Paranormal or Urban Romance. I love anything that features witches, daemons, faeries, vampires, imps, goblins, wizards, weres, you name it. If it's paranormal, then theres every chance that I've probably read it/have read it/have it on my reading list.

I can't stand the books in the genre that I like to refer to as "The Genre of Abuse", which I posted about back in 2009 and you can read it here. I've read one of those books, I finished it, and then decided I would never read another again.

But I digress. I'm supposed to be blogging about a book I've read that changed my views on something.

Up until the 14, I suppose you could have said I was a Christian. I was born, christened by a Father Nasty (yes that really was his name) into the Catholic Church. I never did my confirmation however, so I guess in the eyes of the Church, I'm not really a Catholic, which to be honest suits me fine.

From the ages of 9 to above 12, I became quite religious. I went to a Church group every Wednesday evening, became good friends with the Pastors kids, we had sleepovers and camps and lots of fun. I was in the choir, I went to Church every Sunday and to Sunday school too. I went to Church camp.
Then I moved away. 6000 miles away, and it was a new country, and I just stopped going.
I did however go to a Church of England School, which to be fair, wasn't religious at all. We had a weekly assembely where we said prayers at the end and sung a hymn at the beginning, and at the end of term we had a Church service.

I was about 15, when I came across a book on the craft. From then on it was like a light flipped on. I read more and more, and eventually got drawn into fictional books, which turned out to be my favourite genre of books, all about witches, the craft, the occult, magick. Whether it was fictional or not.
I looked back on Christianity and I didn't feel that pull that I did before. In fact the only thing that remotely interested me about the Church was the mystery of the Stigmata, Fatima, Exorcisms, the unexplained.

Anyway, so Church and God fell by the wayside (although I must point out that I have nothing but the utmost respect for those who worship other religions) and I decided that I wasn't a Christian, I wanted to study the Craft. Witchcraft.
I've always been honest with people who ask me what religion I am. I class myself as a Wiccan. I list it on forms where I'm asked to select a religion. My employers are aware, as are my friends and family.

So as I bring this topic to an end, I'd have to say, it's not just 1 book that changed my views (and religion!) but many.

Todays Picture

2011-01-13T20:35:00.002Z

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

2011-01-13T19:27:00.000Z

Sweets.
Those gummy sweets, or jelly sweets, or whatever you want to call them.
Gummy worms, gummy bears, cola bottles, fried eggs.
Haribo.

I could live without that. Cause more often than not when I eat them, they set my teeth on edge, and make me feel ill.

I could quite happily live without them.

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

2011-01-13T08:32:00.005Z

Day 15.

I couldn't live without my iPhone and it's charger. I rely it on too much. I use it for Facebook, Email, Twitter, reading Blogs, Phone calls, Text messaging, listening to Music, FourSquare. and so much more.

I once went to work without my phone, and I pretty much had a breakdown. I always carry a charger with me, because once my phone ran out of battery, and I was lost. It's a horrid feeling, so my phone is always fully charged before I head out, and if it's in need of some juice, I whip my charger out and find somewhere to charge it.

It's sad I know. But it's what the technological world has reduced me to.

Don't Judge Me.

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

2011-01-12T18:00:00.002Z

I don't think I have any heros. So really this blog post is Moot.

Meh.

Weebl & Bob - The Story of Pie

2011-01-12T13:30:00.002Z

Todays Picture

2011-01-12T12:50:00.001Z

The Gran Story

2011-01-12T12:30:00.000Z

Yesterday I posted a photo of me and my Gran, and if you didn't see it, then you can see it here.

I decided that I wanted to know more about my Gran, about her childhood, her parents, how she met my Grandpa, that kind of stuff. So I emailed her. Yep, my Gran has email, and she's on Facebook too you know!

I want to be able to tell my kids when they're older (to point out that I don't actually have any kids now) about my Gran, their Great-Gran and what a wonderful person she is (or maybe was). My Gran isn't immortal, in 15 years she may not be here anymore, although if her family genes are anything to go by, she'll still be here in 25 odd years!! My Gran's Great-Aunt Daisy turned 106 last year, and she's still going strong!!

A recent news article - CAN BE FOUND HERE.

Daisy Blanche Christian, born 10 March, 1904, recently celebrated her 106^th birthday at the Kirkconnell Rest Home in Cayman Brac.

Miss Daisy, as she is affectionately known, enjoyed birthday cake and fruit punch with her niece Francis Kline, grandniece Jewel and her husband David Smalldon, her caregiver, Cecil Barnes and other rest home staff.

Jewel Smalldon said, “What a grand lady Aunt Daisy is. The Lord has truly blessed her. Although she had no children of her own, she raised many of her friends’ children. Aunt Daisy has never let anything or anyone bother her in life. She has lived a Christian life for as long as I can remember. She has been a blessing and an example to me. Our family wishes her many more years, if it is God’s will.”

Gran replied to my email at 3am this morning, which is like 10pm her time. She got as far as telling me about her Honeymoon, 20 years after her wedding before she had to go, promising that she would email me tomorrow (today?) after she'd seen doctor.

I am going to share my Gran's story. It's a great one. Her email made me laugh and cry and smile, and love her. Hopefully you will love her too. She's an amazing woman.

I can't wait for her next email.

Todays Picture - My Gran, a real Jewel in my family.

2011-01-11T21:12:00.001Z

This is my Gran, she's awesome.
Her name is Jewel, and she currently lives with my Grandad in George Town, Grand Cayman.
She was born in 1929, which makes her 81 (soon to be 82) and I don't think she looks anywhere near that age.
She was recently in hospital, rather poorly, and it made me realise that one day she won't be here anymore.
I won't be able to email her anymore and have her reply (yes my 81 year old Gran is on email AND facebook! she's cool like that)
I also realised that I don't know all that much about her. I mean I know her, obviously, cause she's my Gran! But I don't know her history.
I don't know hardly anything about her history, and if I don't know it, how am I going to tell my kids about it?
So I'm aiming to resolve that.
As much as I'd love to fly the 6000 odd miles to Grand Cayman, and spend two weeks with Gran, I can't afford it. It'd be awesome, to go out with my Gran for lunch and spend the whole lunch time talking about her and learning about her. I wish I had £1200 to go. Alas, email will have to do. Unless anyone out there wants to pay for me to go visit my Gran?

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

2011-01-11T20:21:00.002Z

Dear iPod,

Thank you.

Much love,
Me

Todays Photo

2011-01-10T14:12:00.001Z

Not only 2 Jerks for the price of 1, but a free soda too!

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on

2011-01-10T11:44:00.000Z

My Ass.

No one ever comes up to me and says "I like your Ass" or "You have a great Ass" or "I wish I had an Ass like yours"

Looking at my Ass in the mirror it looks okay to me. In fact if I wear a really complimentary pair of jeans, my rear looks fabulous. Yet no one ever compliments it.

Oh well, we can't always get what we want, so in the meantime I'll leave you with some ass related quotes.

I want women to be liberated and still be able to have a nice ass and shake it. -Shirley MacLaine

People think, 'Wow, you're an actress, so people must be really nice to you and kiss your ass.' NOBODY kisses my ass. -Alicia Silverstone

There comes a day when you've become comfortable in your skin. But God as my witness, I am going to try to do everything I can to keep this ass together for as long as I possibly can - without going against nature. -Zoe Saldana

Rum Point

2011-01-09T15:14:00.002Z

I want to share one of my favourite places in the world with you all.
Here are a few pictures.

Entrance to Rum Point

One of the best signs on the Island

Need Directions?

all the kids love this Iguana

Eats

Rum Punch! The Islands signature drink

sunset

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

2011-01-08T16:35:00.000Z

I get complimented on a fair few things, such as;

you have nice eyes
your hair looks nice
your make really good christmas cards
your cooking is really delicious

But the one thing that gets mentioned more often than not?
My boobs.
Seriously. And not just by men.

Although when men "compliment" me on my boobs, it's usually more of a statement, like, "you're boobs are massive". Whereas women normally say things like, "you have really awesome boobs" and ocassionally "wish I had boobs like yours"

So I'm going to go with boobs Bob, cause that's what I get most compliments on.

Todays Picture

2011-01-08T14:55:00.000Z

Todays Photo

2011-01-07T19:23:00.002Z

EPIC CUTENESS

Vegetable Risotto

2011-01-07T18:47:00.001Z

What you Need

Aborrio Rice
Vegetable Stock
Mushrooms
Onions
Garlic
Peas
Asparagus
Butter
Olive Oil
White Wine
Salt and Pepper
Parmesan Cheese

What you do

Chop the Onions, Mushrooms, and Garlic and set aside.
In a large pan heat the olive oil and butter, and then add the rice and stir for about 2 minutes on a low heat.
Add the garlic, onions and mushrooms to the rice and cook for a further 4-5 minutes stirring continually.
Add the white wine and continue to stir. Allow the wine to soak into the rice.
Slowly add the stock to the rice and continue to stir and add stock until the rice forms a creamy consistancy.
Meanwhile in a saucepan bring some water to the boil and add the peas and the asparagus stems.
Once the peas and asparagus stems are cooked, turn the heat off and add the asparagus tips and leave to one side.
Continue to stir the risotto, and season with salt and pepper, adding more stock if required.
Taste the Risotto, it should be fully cooked but still have a a "bite" to it.
Drain the saucepan and add the vegetables to the risotto, as well as the grated parmesan.

Dish on to a plate and serve!

Bon Apetite!

Note, you can follow the packet instructions on the rice, and 5 minutes before the end of cooking, add fresh spinach and riccota cheese.
You can also add chicken, or any other vegetables or cheese, such as marscapone or seafood, such as prawns, mussels and squid.
For a difference, once your risotto is made, stir in a small amount of tomato and marscapone sauce, dish into an oven dish, sprinkle with mozarella and bake in the oven for 25 minutes.
Risotto - a versatile dish that can be made for all the family.

Todays Photo

2011-01-06T20:20:00.000Z

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

2011-01-06T18:52:00.000Z

There are probably loads of people out there that I wish I didn't know, people with toxic behaviour; people who make a habit of using you for what they can get; people who are manipulative; mean; violent; abusive; people who lie; well, people, in general. But when I sit down and think about it, no one specific really pops up.

For every person who has mistreated me, lied to me, been violent towards me, used me, or manipulated me, I have learned something.

They say you learn from your mistakes. We're all only human and we all make mistakes. As the saying goes, "bite me once, shame on you, bite me twice, shame on me"

For each person I have encountered, I have learned from them. I have learned and know not to repeat mistakes. Each friendship I make with someone, I take something away from it.

For each person I trust that lies to me, loses my trust and my friendship.
For each person that is manipulative or abusive towards me, I have walked away from them and cut them from my life.
For each person who has used me, I have steered clear of them so that I am not longer in a postition to be used.

I have let go of all the people that I needed to, and currently there is no one in my circle that I wished I didn't know.

Day 9 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

2011-01-04T16:40:00.000Z

When I was 12 my family packed up and moved to the other side of the world.
I went from a tropical climate, an island, with beautful sandy beaches and aquamarine waters to a temperate bustling city, with lots of concrete and traffic and people. I didn't really have a choice. You don't when you're 12. You go where you're told.

Public Beach, West Bay, Grand Cayman

House of Parliment and Big Ben, London, UK

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was flying on my own from Grand Cayman to London, with a 6 hour stop over in Miami. My mother and siblings had moved in the October, I stayed to finish that term at school. My dad took me to the airport with all of my cases, I checked in. All my family came to see me off. There were tears and I had a fruit punch and chicken tenders with fries in the airport restaurant. My very best friend was late. She promised that she'd be at the airport to say goodbye. We both hated that I was moving half way around the world, where international phone calls were expensive and we couldn't call each other because of the time difference and the cost.

She got to the airport 10 minutes before I was due to go through to departures. We hugged and cried and promised to write and be pen pals. She waved goodbye and I went through to departures.

I got to board the plane first as I was an unaccompanied minor. The Cabin Crew lady got me seated and got me a drink whilst the rest of the passengers boarded that flight. I remember I had a notebook and a pen with me because I was determined to start my letters striaght away, and I did. I wrote and I wrote, about the interior of the plane, about the take off, and the fluffy clouds and how I would miss her, my bestest best friend in the whole world, and I cried. No. I sobbed. I sobbed my 12 year old heart out for the rest of the flight once we had taken off. Even now thinking about it puts a lump in my throat and I could cry again.

I remember the man next to me giving me tissues and telling me it would be ok. He was a kind man. I can't even remember what he looks like, but I knew he was kind.

We landed in Miami. I was the last to leave the plane because I had to be accompanied by Cabin Crew. They took me through the airport to my connecting flight and left me at the sales desk. I was 12, and bored. The sales desk lady let me answer phones, and also call my mother in London. I sneaked in a call to my best friend to tell her I missed her. I wrote another letter telling her all about the cool sales lady who let me answer the phone and that when I got to London my grandma was taking me to the Palace and to Paris and to the ballet.

I got on my connecting flight and it passed in a daze. I couoldn't get comfortable in my seat, so I went to see if there were any spare seats of 3, there weren't, so I laid on the floor behind the last row, and then about 2 hours before we were due to land, one of the cabin crew came and got me and plonked me in a comfy green leather seat in First Class. I had my breakfast, and I changed my clothes into something a bit warmer (it was December!).

I got taken off the flight, and was sat on my own for another hour at the gate before someone came to get me to take me to get my bags and to go through customs. I finally emerged into the waiting arms of my grandma.

We wrote back and forth, for years, and then when I was 16, my friend came to visit me in London for 2 weeks. I was so excited! We did the touristy things, my friend got a tattoo (and my mother hit the roof!) and we had a great time, and when it was time for her to leave, we hugged and cried again. Again we promised to write all the time.

Then when I was 18, I came home from Sixth Form and my mother said to me "there is a surprise in your room for you, I got it today". I went upstairs and there sat on my bed was my best friend. The whole house vibrated from the screams we emitted. We spent another 2 weeks inseperable. She flew back and we hugged and cried again. And we promised to keep writing.

The letters gave way to emails, so we emailed all the time, back and forth. We talked about boyfriends, and school, and jobs, and family, and old friends and new friends.

I then went to visit her, for 10 days, and we had a blast. We did the touristy things, and went to Pirates Week, and had fun.

Pirates at Pirates Week Festival, Grand Cayman

Then one day she emailed me. She was having a baby. It was exciting, but scary. A baby. I was so thrilled for her. Her son arrived and I went to visit her again when he was 1. He was adorable and I fell in love with him. Beautiful eyes just like hers, with curly dark hair and the cutest smile you ever did see on a baby. We spent a week together before I had to fly back to London.

The emails became few and far between. She had a baby to look after as well as hold down a job, and I had my job and a big social life.

The visits didn't happen as often, because money was tight and fares were getting more and more expensive.
Eventually I heard from her that she was expecting another baby, this time a little girl. She had her little girl, and she'd bought a house, and she had her own family.

Eventually the emails became less and less. We'd email Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, the occassional photos of her kids.

My parents decided to renew their wedding vows after 25 years, so the whole family went back to Grand Cayman. I saw my friend twice. In the 8 days that I was there, I saw her twice.

I then got engaged, invited her to the wedding, but at the last minute her partner fell ill and had to be rushed to Miami for emergency surgery. She didn't get to come. I emailed her pictures of the day and told her all about it.

She got married, I couldn't go, because I didn't have the money for the airfare. She emailed me pictures, and told me all about it.

I've known her since we were both 10. That's coming up to 17 years this year. 17 years. I've known her more than half my life, and no doubt we will continue to stay in touch. It won't be as frequent as we promised when we were 12, but then we were 12. We were both going to grow up, get married, have kids and be neighbours with great big houses with pools and maids.

Long gone is our 12 year old naivety, it's been replaced with grown up responsibilities and not enough time in the day to do what needs to be done.

We both have very different lives, in very different worlds.

She'll always be my friend, one of my best friends, who I'll cherish forever.
She'll always be ther one person I didn't ever want to leave, to let go, who drifted.

It's a new year now, and I'm going to make more of an effort. I have a diary, and I'm going to ensure I stay in contact with friends.

Sash - I loved you then, and I love you now, and you'll always be in my heart no matter how many oceans seperate us, or how many miles come between us.

Becca and Sasha c.1996

Todays Picture

2011-01-04T15:28:00.002Z

Goodbye 2010!

2010-12-31T12:31:00.000Z

The end of the year is fast approaching! Less than 12 hours to go (where I am).
It's been a quick year, with ups and downs and all arounds.
I've cried, I've laughed and I've swore more times than I care to admit :/

This year saw me start a new job, turn 26, visit St Ives and celebrate good friends getting engaged, see my husband turn 26, see my 1st niece born, have my 1st wedding anniversary and have a great Christmas with family and friends.

It's time for 2011.

Thank you all for reading my blog.

I wish everyone who visits a wonderful, happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

2011, I'm ready for you!

Bring. It. On.

doped up on the meds

2010-12-30T17:44:00.000Z

Today I had my second scan on my wrist. The last scan was in January. It showed I had a Ganglion Cyst (Albert) that was 11mm long by 6mm wide. The doctor told me that it would go away on it's own.

Since then I have been back to see my GP 4 times. 4!

On the 3rd occassion I was told by the GP that they could remove the cyst, but they generally don't do that procedure anymore due to NHS cost cutting.

On the 4th time I saw a new GP. Not new to Medicine, but new to my Practice. He was lovely. He examined me, and referred me for another scan and also to a Rheumatologist. I had the scan today, and I'm seeing a consultant on the 7th February. He also advised that the pain I had been feeling was unlikely to be from the Cyst, but rather sounded like it could be Tendonitits.

For the last 5 days, I've had nothing but pain in my wrist. Regular pain meds don't seem to be making a dent in the pain. The pain is worse when I use my hand (it being my dominant hand means I use it all the time!) and now moves up the outside of my forearm and into my elbow.

I call the GP. Talk to him on the phone. He says it sounds a lot like Tendonitis, and basically says that's what is it, prescribes me some lovely stronger pain meds and says see you in a week to discuss the scan.

Fast forward to scan. The technician was great. He explained everything he was doing and talked me through the entire procedure. Just out of curiousity I asked him to check the median nerve was ok (in case the pain was from the lump pressing on it) and it was fine. Very close to the cyst, but on top, rather than underneath it and looking pretty healthy. I then ask him to check my tendons. This guy goes out of his way to scan the tendons where the pain is, and says, they look perfectly fine to me, nice and shiny (I have shiny tendons!). I asked him if the pain could be Tendonitis, and he says No, simply because the tendons aren't inflamed.

So now I am back to square one. I still have a stupid ganglion cyst, that hasn't gone away at all despite what my doctor said, and that hasn't really shrank either, and I still have the pain.
I still get pins and needles in my hand, and weakness and numbness.

If the Rheumatologist comes up with nothing, then I haven't a clue.

In the meantime, have a look at a scan of a ganglion cyst. It's the black blob. I have one and it's called Albert.

Todays Picture

2010-12-30T17:12:00.002Z

Todays Picture

2010-12-29T10:44:00.000Z

Todays Picture

2010-12-27T08:15:00.002Z

A Christmas Message

2010-12-24T09:52:00.000Z

Christmas is fast approaching. 1 more sleep in fact! One of the best poems about Christmas is this one.

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro' the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar plums danc'd in their heads,

Tonight I shall have visions of sugar plum fairies dancing in my head, and depending on how much I've had to drink before bed (or how much cheese I have consumed) they make look like this.

On a serious note, I want to wish everyone a Happy Healthy Fabulous Christmas and a Brilliant and Drunken New Year!

With Love (and life and food!)

Becca

Todays Picture

2010-12-24T09:37:00.000Z

Day 8 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

2010-12-23T11:35:00.000Z

Day 8

There are loads of people who have made my life hell, or treated me like shit. But I'm a firm believer of Karma - what goes around comes around. What you throw into the Universe will come back to you threefold, whether it's good or bad.

Where shall I start?

At School - I'd just moved to the UK from the Cayman Islands. I was different and kids are cruel. I spoke differently, so some kids in my class picked on me for that. Every time I spoke they mocked me. Repeating everything I said, in a high pitchy whiney voice (that apparantly was supposed to be how I spoke). Eventually they stopped, only for another group of kids (a click of girls) who started spreading a rumour that I was a lesbian, and teasing me every day, shouting obscenities and just generally being a bunch of bitches. One day I threatened to thump one of them, and eventually they quit it. Then I grew boobs and suddenly became popular. Smart and with boobs. I liked school after that.

I left school and went straight into work, I decided I didn't want to go to College/University. Glad I didn't to be honest, because I would have done a degree with no real worth in the job world, up to my eye balls in debt and struggling. (I ended up with 2 out of those 3 anyway). The girls who teased me? Majority of them ended up having several kids with several different men, and on benefits. The girl who started the rumour that I was a lesbian. She came out a few years back. I like to think she had the hots for me.

After School - I met this guy, we'll call him Frank (Frank isn't really his name) Frank was lovely and we fell in love and wanted to get married and have babies and live happily ever after. Frank's parents were strict Muslims. Frank became controlling. Frank had no job and because I was blindly in love, I put him on my credit card, and paid for everything. Whilst in the last 2 months of our relationship, he ran up debts in my name. Frank then was not only controlling but became rather obsessive, and one day he had me up by the throat against the wall. I stood up for myself and gave him one hell of a smack in the face. We split up after that. I met another guy, and Frank came back on the scene, to STALK me. Frank eventually got the message. He left me alone. Frank is now a police officer with London's Metropolitan Police Service.

At Work - I wrote about this. This guy still wants to be my friend. He sends me Facebook messages, and texts saying things such as "thank for been my friend", I talk to him, but he's not now, or will ever be my friend. My boss doesn't seem to have a very good opinion of me based on this guys lies. When he's in the room I see him giving me the "look", you know, the one where they show a bit of disgust? yeah, that look. I suspect that this will hold me back from any type of progression. If it does, then I'll have no choice but to leave and find a job with another company.

So these are my 3 experiences of someone(s) who have made my life hell or treated me like shit. I suspect that they won't be the last three experiences I have. But I live by this rule.

Todays Picture

2010-12-23T11:13:00.000Z

Day 7 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

2010-12-22T10:03:00.001Z

The answer has to be me.
I'm the person that makes my life worth living for. Is that selfish? or (whats the word i'm looking for?)

There are many many people (and things!) that make me happy in life. But I firmly believe that I am the person who makes my life worth living for.

My Husband
My Family
My Friends
Food
Internets

All of these things (and people!) would be sad if I were not here, well maybe the Internets wouldn't care so much, or food. In fact food would probably be relieved that it has one less person munching on it.

Todays Photo

2010-12-22T09:45:00.002Z

Today's Inspirational Photo

2010-12-20T15:08:00.001Z

Holiday Buzz

2010-12-20T14:34:00.000Z

It's 5 days till Christmas, and I'm getting more excited than I thought possible. (I know! I didn't think it was possible either!)

I've finished all the Christmas shopping (barring the pets), and wrapping, and I have 3 more days to go at work before I finish for the holidays! 3 more days! Then I have 6 days off before I have to head back to work.

Although I suspect those 3 days are going to be sheer hell due to the weather. Getting in will be a hassle, dealing with our passengers will be challenging, and getting home will be, well, not fun.

I'm very much looking forward to Christmas. Last year my husband had to work, so I didn't really see him until mid afternoon.
This year he is off! and so am I! It's going to be awesome and I can't wait.

We're off to the mother-in-law's for Christmas. Cooking, eating, presents and Champagne. BLISS!

Boxing day evening, we will be spent quietly at home, together, before we head to my parents on the 27th, for a buffet lunch and more presents and wine.

28th and 29th getting over Christmas and relaxing and then back to work on the 30th.

It'll be busy, but I love it.

Can't wait!

Day 6 → Something you hope you never have to do.

2010-12-20T14:26:00.000Z

I hope I never have to watch a loved one die.
By loved one I mean my husband, my parents, my siblings, my kids.

It's probably inevitable that my parents will die before I do, that being that they are 20 & 24 years older than me, chances are they will die before me unless I fall ill with a terminal illness or I am in a tragic accident.

I never want to feel the pain of watching a loved one pass away.
I never want to experience the grief of losing a child.

I honestly don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with those kind of emotions or experiences.

It's something I hope I never have to do.

Day 5 → Something you hope to do in your life.

2010-12-15T19:47:00.001Z

Day 5.

So here I am continuing this project of 30 days of truth. I started it back in October, and now it's nearly the end of December (days are disappearing fast!) and I'm only on day 5. I'm back to my habit of blogging for a few days and then nothing for a few weeks. It's a vicious circle. I suspect it'll be June before I finish!

There are a lot of things that I hope to do in my life. I think the list will continue to grow with each year that passes. Some things I will manage to do, and others will fall by the wayside with no chance of ever being acheived.

I've already done a few of them, like get married for example. On September 19th 2009, I married the most amazing man ever. The day was awesome, even the part where I messed up my vows and caused the Registrar to mess up his part also, and we had to start all over again!


wedding day!

Some of the things I hope to do in my Life.

Buy a house and make it a loving home.
Have a baby, followed by more babies, spaced a few years apart of course.
Travel the world, see the sights and be AMAZED.
Start my own business and succeed at it.
Have enough money that I can give my kids all they need to succeed in life and be comfortable.
Get over my fear of spiders and enclosed spaces.
Be a great mother and wife.
Write a book, followed by a few more to turn my first book into a series.
Become a professional chef and run a Michelin Star restaurant.
Get a tattoo.
Be the person who gets to solve the Middle Eastern Peace Crisis.
Develop a magical power, like Piper in Charmed. Freezing crap and Blowing shit up would be so full of awesomeness.
Direct a Hollywood Blockbuster.
Travel into Space.
Get a pet monkey.
Timetravel.
Own an orphanage and help kids who need a mother/father figure and a loving home.

Well the list could go on, but I think I'm going to stop there. Some of the things that will fall by the wayside are a bit obvious, like getting a tattoo. HA! I hear that's painful, although having a baby is painful too apparantly, but I'd much prefer the baby to the tattoo. A baby is something that you will love forever, no matter what, a Tattoo on the other hand, you can fall out of love with it.

Getting a pet monkey is another thing that will probably never happen. My husband won't even let me get a kitten or a puppy. Can you imagine how ape-shit (heh.) he'd be if I came home with a monkey!?!?

Travelling. Currently can't afford to travel, and by the time we can afford to, we'll need to use the money to buy a house and start a family. It's unlikely that I'll get to go on that round the world trip until I'm in my 60's and I drag the husband to the cruise liner in Southampton on the 4th January for a 4 month cruise! Saying that, it's not like I haven't travelled. I'm 26. I've been to lots of places.

Helicoptering in the Caymans

St.Tropez, South of France

Turtle Farm, Grand Cayman

Prague

Flayosc, South of France

Cayman Islands

Loch Lomond, Scotland


Souks in Marrakech

Overlooking Djemm el Fna in Marrakech.

I guess the main thing I hope to do in my life is to have my own home and a family. Whether or not that happens remains to be seen, but it's my biggest hope right now. I hope that I'm blessed and my hopes become reality, but all I can do is wait and see.

Recipe - Pesto Sprouts

2010-12-15T18:56:00.001Z

I got this recipe from my Mother-in-Law, who is a professional chef and teacher. She's amazing at what she does, and makes the MOST delicious cakes and scones, and well to be honest, pretty much everything that comes out of her kitchen is delicious. I've put my own twist on it (albiet a very small twist!)

You can serve it with pretty much any kind of white poultry such as Chicken and Turkey, which makes it ideal for Thanksgiving or Christmas. It's also a good way of getting your kids to eat sprouts, cause it tastes so delicious! You can also add to it if you wished, with other green veg, such as cabbage, leeks, spinach etc.

So here you have it.

What you Need -

Brussel Sprouts
Double Cream
Green Pesto
Fresh Whole Nutmeg
Salt and Pepper

What you Do -

Slice the Brussel Sprouts finely. I'd recommed between 8 and 9 sprouts per person. Or more if you think people will want seconds!

slicing

Put sliced sprouts in a huge mixing bowl, and season with salt, pepper and follow with a good grating of the nutmeg.

sliced and seasoned

Mix in about 1 tablespoon of pesto per person.
Pour over 200ml of double cream.
Mix thoroughly, and add more cream if you feel it needs it.
Put mixture into an over-proof dish and grate nutmeg on the top.


mixed and ready for the oven

Cook in a pre-heated oven for 35 minutes, stirring half way through, on gasmark 6 or 180C.

Apologies for the quality of the last photo, we had a power outage and candlelight doesn't make a good alternative for electric lights!

finished dish

Enjoy!

Todays Picture

2010-12-14T17:08:00.000Z

Day 4 → Something you have to forgive someone for

2010-12-04T16:56:00.000Z

To quote myself - "I guess forgiveness is important in life. Without forgiveness you harbour a grudge. It makes you bitter. It means that you don't grow as a person and you don't learn from your mistakes."

I know I'm right with this one, but to be honest, I kind of don't want to be.

How long do you make a person wait before you tell them that you forgive them for their stupid and hurtful behaviour? Is there a time limit?

I have to forgive someone, but I don't want to. This person thinks that if I say I forgive you then things can go back to "normal" and we can continue to be friends like nothing has happened. It doesn't work that way. I can't seem to make them realise that. That trust? That friendship? It's GONE.

About 3 weeks ago, a person who I've helped very much since I've known him, made a big mistake. He told a serious lie and when called on it he lied about the original lie (and then he cried and tried to look the victim).

The lie? He told the people we work with that I had been spreading rumours about him and another colleague (female) having an affair. He did this after messaging the other female colleauge and telling her that he had feelings for her and she advised him that she didn't reciprocate those feelings! For the record this guy and the female colleague never had any intimate relationship.

I never made any comments about this rumour, and for him to lie about such a serious thing makes me extremley cross. Subsequently my bosses told me off. Bosses also told off the colleague who he was apparantly having an affair with. We got into trouble for something we didn't do, and he got treated like the victim. He sat at the table and cried, said he didn't say that I had said he was having sex with another colleague and that I must have gotten my "wires crossed".

Since then I've hardly spoken to him, and neither has the other girl I work with. In fact neither of us can really stand to work with him. After the incident he bombarded us with text messages and phone calls despite us asking him to leave us alone.

About a week ago, he came up to me, whilst I was on my own in the lunch room, and he asked me to forgive him. He cried. I asked him why he did what he did and he said "I don't know".
I replied that he must have known why he did it otherwise he wouldn't have said such nasty things in the first place.
He said, "I don't know why I did it, I wish I hadn't said those things and I'm very sorry."
I pushed him for an explanation. I wanted to know so badly what I had done to him for him to say such lies. I asked him over and over and in the end he said "I did it because I was in a bad place!"

A bad place. He was in a bad place. So he LIED. He LIED about something so serious, that I was "reminded" that I was still in my probabtionary period and it was suggested that my employment could be terminated if I spread rumours again. He LIED because HE was in a BAD PLACE.

I gave him advice when he left his wife and kids. I helped him look for places to live when he was about to be made homeless. I had him in my house and fed him because he wasn't eating properly (to be fair he did invite himself over and I couldn't tell him he wasn't welcome, but oh how I WISH I did). I cheered him up when he was feeling low, and to pay me back he LIED because he was in a bad place.

I know that everyone deserves forgiveness, and going back to my quote, I am right, and yes I do harbour a grudge on this occassion, but I can't help it. I am so mad about this and so hurt that someone who I considered a friend would do such a thing.

He doesn't deserve my friendship or my trust, and in all honesty there is no way that he will ever fix this.

In light of my own words, I have to forgive this person, otherwise I'll hold a grudge and it will make me bitter. On this occassion, I am OK with that. What I've learnt from this is to be a little more hard, to not be so nice to people, because you never know when people will turn around and stab you in the back.

I DO NOT forgive you, I DO NOT want to be your friend and I DO NOT trust you. You have made the baby Jesus cry.

Day 3 → Something you have to forgive yourself for

2010-11-20T13:38:00.000Z

Day 3.

Day 3....

Hmmmmmmmmm.

Something I have to forgive myself for.
I honestly have no idea.

I'm not the sort of person that looks back at something and thinks, "I need to forgive myself for that". At least I don't think I am.....

I've never had to do it.

Even pushing myself to answer this I'm not coming up with anything.

This shit is hard yo.

What can you forgive yourself for? Getting Fat? Eating that last piece of cake that you know you really shouldn't have but wanted to anyway because it was so nice and moist and chocolatey? Dating that guy who turned out to stalk you after putting you into shitloads of debt? Not listening to your doctor because you are stubborn? Saying something to someone that you shouldn't have? Allowing your gaurd down and being a friend to someone only for them to betray you? Buying those shoes you knew you couldn't afford? Being judgemental even though you know you have no right to be?

Hmmmmm, I guess this isn't that hard when you really get down to it and think about every single possibility that has happened in your life.

I guess forgiveness is important in life. Without forgiveness you harbour a grudge. It makes you bitter. It means that you don't grow as a person and you don't learn from your mistakes.

So I forgive myself and hope that I learn from my mistakes and that I'm not stupid enough to make them again. If I do, I give you permission to beat me. OR just take away the chocolate cake.

Forgive yourself. or. just eat cake.

How to Make

2010-11-10T11:22:00.000Z

the most delicious Potato Dauphinoise

What You Need

4 large potatoes
800ml double cream
4 cloves of garlic
1 teaspoon of dijon mustard
salt and pepper
nutmeg

What You Do

Pour the double cream into a small saucepan with the 4 cloves of garlic, a teaspoon of dijon mustard and the salt and pepper. Heat gently.
Slice the potatoes into thin slices, leaving the skins on. (make sure you give them a good wash first!)
Bring the cream mixture to a boil and then allow to simmer gently for 10 minutes. Remove from the heat, and remove the cloves of garlic.
Take the garlic and mash it, and then return it to the pan and stir the mixture well.
Pour some cream on to the first layer of potato, and then add another layer of potato and cream, until all the potato and cream has been used up.
Grate nutmeg over the top of the dish, and cook in an oven for 45-50 minutes on GasMark 6 or 180C.

Allow to stand for 10 minutes before serving with a meat of your choice and some green veggies!

sorry there is not picture for this one!